i will stalk everyone who reblogs this’s blog and then find a song that i think describes them and then put it in their ask.
i will do every single person who reblogs this.
oh i hate everything that you are,
but i envy you at the same time
restless, carefree, you never stop. you dont know when to stop
but somehow you end up where everyone wants to be
i guess thats where you end up after spreading yourself so thin
covering all your bases. what a miserably ironic analogy
You are covering your bases.
the stable one, the thing everyone will always comfort you for, the fun side,
what are you
You dont even know but youll never admit it.
I dont appear as perfect as you but at least i can recognise my own weaknesses.
If you want to call that a good thing.
my sim boyfriend woohooed w/ me then moved into another bed immediately after then DIED now he haunts my house and every time i try and talk to him he turns into dust ALL BOYS ARE THE SAME
what i’d say if i could ever actually leave you behind.
I pray that one day you will trust someone enough to let them be free without having to wonder what they are doing and if they’re being faithful to you. I pray that one day you will love someone so much that you’ll let them experience the things they deserve to experience because you know it’s best for them
Despite my unconditional love and loyalty, i never got these luxuries for you. And i hate myself for letting you get away with it. But once again, I obeyed you, trying to keep you happy when so much around you was going so wrong. If i could take one moment of stress out of your mind i was going to do it, and there i did. Turning away all of my friends just to show you that you’re all i want and need, but you didn’t fucking care.
I pray that you get past your disorder that brings you down. I know it’s medical. I know it runs through your veins and paralyzes your mind. I know you’d do anything to change it.
I pray that you find yourself in a good place with your family soon, because they have contributed to your disorder so much and not even realized it until it got this bad. I wish you had it different. I wish you grew up in a home like mine, where nothing was your fault and you were just learning from your mistakes instead of being told you werent wanted. We would have loved you. Maybe it would have been easier for you to love others, then.
I have so much guilt. You tell me you need me to keep your head on straight. To balance you out and be the soft spoken one. To show you compassion and forgiveness. But i can’t do that anymore for you.
You think you need me, and you think you love me, and i really appreciate it.
I pray that you learn to love the right way. I pray that you love someone so much that no matter what they do you can’t imagine your life without them. I pray that you lay awake thinking about how you could make that person smile the next day. I pray that you plan things out for her and take her to see beautiful things that you know she’ll never forget. I pray that you will show up at her doorstep with anything from a dvd and some coffee to just your amazing smile and open arms. I pray that you love her in her pajamas, her work clothes, no make up on, or in her sickness. I pray that you learn to love even when it’s hard and even when she doesn’t deserve it because thats when she’ll need it most. Most of all i pray that you will never make her feel like her imperfections are problems that she needs to fix or feel sorry for.
I hope you love someone, some day, the same way i’ve been loving you this entire time.
It hurts.
But i know where i stand
No matter what i do for you, how long i chase you, how stable i am, how much i put my feelings aside, it will never be enough. I am not enough for you, but i have given and given until i looked in the mirror to realize i am not myself anymore. I am a strung out, exhausted, boring, pessimistic version of myself that you have created.
Just please, love someone some day as much as i love you.
you push because you need your space
you want things easy and free
no need, no dependency, no contingency.
i pull because i hate the uncertainty
but let you have your way anyway,
i’d rather have you in this strung out form than not at all.
you’re angry all the time, and i’ve realized that its not because of me
i’m just the only one you dump it onto
the only one who’s let you treat me like this and still stuck around
you dont even like the cliche things, but youll go through the motions
just to feel like you’re living. Slap that smile on your face like the rest of your friends
and pretend that you’re happy with yourself.
i’m supposed to be the one who takes your mind off of things when times get hard
but you dont even let me close enough to see the difference
how can you need someone but not their presence
how can you love someone but neglect their feelings
how can you be so selfish
how can i be so okay with it
i want to be so upset because i feel so broken and unimportant
but i can’t even let myself anymore
i dont feel the same about you
i’ve lost my sensitivity, disappointed too many times
too broken to control myself
i won’t let myself be that again
you’re blowing it.
you’re pushing too far
too fucking far
if you want me out just tell me
im exhausted.
you’re here, but not really
is this good for either of us?
i hold on hoping for a better day
you’re a little past that
counting down until the grand excuse to walk out of my life forever.
in my head it all makes sense, its just a bad time,
you’ve got so much going on
and i gladly take the backseat because its better than not coming along for the ride
better than being alone on the curb
isnt it scary to be so broken without someone
that doesnt need anyone
doesnt need anything
except for the shallow attention of others
why do i even love you.
oh but i hardly feel anything
except for guilt and hatred of myself
because i fuck up everytime and i know it as i do it
but i never fucking stop
because i can’t be alone
i hold on so tight that no one wants to be close
because i need so much, and i don’t know why
i need an unrealistic amount of reassurance that my own mother can’t give me
even though i make her so proud
so how do i expect someone who hardly needs me to make me feel worthwhile
when i need too fucking much
i try to lower my expectations, i can’t
i need to get rid of these insecurities, they hurt so bad
i wish i knew how
i wish i had a pen pal i could tell everything
once and a while someones gonna have things better than you do.
They’re gonna be happier than you, look better than you, and have someone loving them when you don’t.
This can’t break you. This can’t hurt you. This can’t be your main focus
Because when you’re up, you hardly appreciate it. You don’t think about how lucky you are or how many girls are hurting wishing they were you, SOLELY because things are going slightly well for you.
Your time will come, Their time will pass.
Just keep taking the necessary steps to improving your life, loving yourself
others will follow
that’s what everyone promises.
fuck, please help my stars align.
